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ABOUT SEX ADDICTION

Am I An Addict?

Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sex addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behaviour. Our behaviours vary: compulsive masturbation, pornography, affairs, paying for sex or being paid, voyeurism, exhibitionism, unsafe sex, abusive sex and much more besides. Family breakups, sexual diseases and other health consequences, financial disaster, loss of jobs, and risk to life are often the painful themes of our stories.

 

We come from all walks of life – we are ministers, doctors, homemakers, factory workers, salespeople, secretaries, clerks, accountants, therapists, dentists, politicians, to name a few. We are men and women – young and old – gay and straight – of all ethnic and  religious backgrounds. None of these dividing lines mean anything to us – because they mean nothing to the disease – and we have come to believe that it is a disease.

Some of us also struggle with other addictions too like drugs, alcohol, eating disorders and compulsive gambling. Most of us didn’t know what was wrong with us – or that our condition had a name. We often thought we were just dirty, or bad, or unworthy people – we didn’t realise we were suffering from a real and treatable disease.

 

We made up excuses. We minimised our problem and told ourselves that “everybody is this obsessed with sex.” We denied the harm we were doing. We made solemn vows to ourselves and others. We were often depressed, some of us thought of suicide, some that they were losing their minds. All we knew for sure was that we wanted to stop, but couldn’t.

SELF ASSESSMENT

 

  1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual behavior or romantic fantasies from those important to you? Do you lead a double life? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  2. Have your desires driven you to have sex in places or with people you would not normally choose? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  3. Do you need greater variety, increased frequency, or more extreme sexual activities to achieve the same level of excitement or relief? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  4. Does your use of pornography occupy large amounts of time and/or jeopardize your significant relationships or employment? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  5. Do your relationships become distorted with sexual preoccupation? Does each new relationship have the same destructive pattern which prompted you to leave the last one? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  6. Do you frequently want to get away from a partner after having sex? Do you feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  7. Have your sexual practices caused you legal problems? Could your sexual practices cause you legal problems? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  8. Does your pursuit of sex or sexual fantasy conflict with your moral standards or interfere with your personal spiritual journey? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  9. Do your sexual activities involve coercion, violence, or the threat of disease? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  10. Has your sexual behavior or pursuit of sexual relationships ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  11. Does your preoccupation with sexual fantasies cause problems in any area of your life - even when you do not act out your fantasies? 
             Yes_____   No_____

  12. Do you compulsively avoid sexual activity due to fear of sex or intimacy? Does your sexual avoidance consume you mentally? 
             Yes_____   No_____

If you answered “Yes” to more than one of these questions, we encourage you to seek help:

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